2 Ways To Be More Persuasive – The Super Self – Love Technique!

I’m not a narcissist. At all.

Wasn’t raised to be.

Honestly, I had low confidence in myself until I found Improv Comedy at 19.

It gave me some good social confidence. Made me a great active listener. And was the beginnin’ of my persuasion trainin’.

Now, even though, I was way more socially confident – I was still pretty self deprecating – talked bad bout myself.

All the time too.

I always, always, always threw myself under the bus for a dumb joke.

It made me feel worse.

I would call myself nasty, useless, and whole bunch of negative crap. All so I can make other people laugh.

To be frank, self deprecation sucks.

And it’s a easy way to have girls not like you too. They hate that.

So, if you always throw yourself under the bus, your makin’ people give you compliments to pump up your own confidence…

… Hey, let me give you a nice lil’ secret – humans are lazy, selfish – they don’t care bout your problems. They care bout their own problems.

Who cares if your mom was in car accident?

They don’t.

Who cares if your girlfriend left you?

They don’t.

Lookin’ for an apartment?

Betta talk to someone else buddy – cause most people don’t care, whatsoever.

So, to me, a better strategy to persuade people – that is to get people to buy from you, date you or hire you – is to showcase super self love.

What’s that?

Well you gotta say nice things to yourself. And bout yourself. Constantly.

And – I mean – constantly.

Daily, monthly, yearly.

This mindset takes work too.

You can use mantras for this.

My mantra is I’m the best! I’m the champion’s chariot!

Mantras help a lot.

Positivity Is Rare – Use It!

Like I say before, I work in a bar for tips every weekend – sellin’ mints and gum and other stuff.

The two best sellin’ tools I have are my positive personality and looks. That’s it.

Even on job interviews, I make sure I look clean. And I don’t throw my self under the bus.

I only talk ’bout my accomplishments, strengths, and good experiences.

Only, only, only.

Why?

Cause sellin’ positivity makes you look different, since  everybody is talkin’ bout their negative life crap…

Annoyin’ girlfriend. Or wife.

Annoyin’ bills. Not enough moolah.

Annoyin’ health issues.

And other stuff.

Then, you come in smilin’ and calm. You’re a breath of fresh air in a sea of negativity.

You’re different. This is how you stand out.

Positivity is rare, rare, rare.

 

LOOKS FREAKIN’ MATTER

If anyone ever tells you that looks don’t matter – they are stupid. Really stupid.

People judge you on your looks (even when they say they’re not – they are)

All great marketers know this, pick up guys know this, and budding persuaders (me!) know this.

Looks matter. 

Looks matter.

Looks matter!

Read Robert Cialdini’s book Influence. He has a good selection on this.

Turn on CNN (crappy, but persuasive) – all the female hosts look super attractive.

Even on commercials, the girls (and guys) look super good.

In superhero movies, everyone’s buff.

That’s cause the human brain is mostly influenced by visual images. Which is why people can sit in front of a screen for hours and hours and hours and hours at a time.

A good lookin’ person can hijack your brain.

Looks are persuasive.

So, what do you do?

Focus on your looks.

Go to the gym.

Eat clean. Drink kombucha. Carrot juice.

Wear clean, fashionable clothes.

Dental care, skin care, hair care – all important to persuade someone.

Take stock in your looks.

You might think this is stupid, but I promise you – it’s not.

Try it out once. And see how people treat you. It’s night an’ day. It really is…

… Persuasion is hard…

… But I’ve been in the service industry for a 10 plus years. And these are the two basic persuasion tools that has helped me make some cash.

I’ve even used this in dating.  And even makin’ friends.

These are two easy and very, very, very, underrated techniques.

Use ’em!

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Mirrors Are Awesome!

Later,

— Jamual

 

3 Benefits Of Improv Comedy

Improv Comedy’s fun. Really fun.

And has given me a lot in life.

Besides hitting on girls in train stations — nothing can compare to it.

Nothing. 

Let me tell you a quick story —

For 4 years straight, I was obsessed with it. On weekends it was all I did — attending classes, doing jams (performing in front of others), and watching comedy shows.

Some days I would hit all the well-known theaters (UCB, Magnet, and the Pit). And just perform.

In my afternoon screenwriting class, I would stare at the clock until it hit 6 PM.

At 6, I would race outta there in order to make it to the 3 hour class at 7 in Manhattan.

I caught the performing bug and it wouldn’t leave my body.

It was my passion (which has now switched to writing), obsession, and first lesson in self-development.

Without further ado, here are the top benefits of being a improviser.

Number 1 — Social Skills 

Job interviews make you nervous?

Business meetings, presentations for school?

Wanna talk to random strangers — just for the heck of it?

How bout that crush of yours?

Cat got your tongue when talking to them?

Solution: Improv.

After four years of this stuff, I can tell you that giving presentations are easy for me. I can talk to anybody I want on the street and don’t feel any social anxiety. Especially on job interviews.

If you do some Improv — you won’t either. I promise you.

Do enough classes, enough scenes, and enough performances — your charisma will increase.

Also, one of the big principles in Improv is active listening – which means actually listening to people, shutting the hell up and letting someone speak for once.

This will help strengthen your interpersonal relationships.

Why?

Because most people, you and I, don’t get heard — at all.

People are always talking over us and not hearing us out (our loved ones, friends, and bosses).

So by using active listening, you’ll learn to hear people out — which will make you more empathetic in business, at home and in the streets.

Is this you when presenting?

Do improv!!!

Number 2 — Creativity  

So, I’ve always been a creative guy. Used to play the keyboard and draw a lot when I was younger. And I used to get a lot of creative blocks, getting stuck for weeks on a project.

This happens to you a lot?

Then Improv will help.

You know all those comedy actors/ writers on TV — like Tina Fey and Will Ferrell.

They make tons of funny shows… And get paid a bunch of $$$ …

How do they come up with that?

Well, they put in 10,000 hours of improv practice — thus making them funny “creative geniuses.”

You may not wanna become a famous entertainer, but you may wanna be able to create more ideas or increase your problem solving skills.

After an prolonged exposure to Improv — you’ll sprout ideas like a fountain.

You’ll become adaptable — which is a needed for future business leaders. Or anyone interested in self development.

The way Improv helps you do this is through — Yes and…

This principle is easy to understand.

Basically, when you have an idea, don’t negate it! Instead add to it, build it up. Ask yourself, “What if.” Don’t edit yourself.

This is the basis of idea generation  — I use this to make loglines for stories (I can create 10 ideas in about 5 minutes).

Try spitting out 10 ideas in 5 minutes. It’s harder than it seems. But will increase your problem solving skills tenfold!

The best fiction writers and Ad – men/women do this effortlessly everyday.

Did you know Ferrell was a Ad Man?

Number 3 — Fun

If your life needs a little shaking up, sign up for a class.

You’ll meet a wide range of people.

I’ve met actors, actresses, programmers, small business owners, comedians and many others through this stuff.

I’ve drank and partied with a wide variety of them too. Now, I have strong, personal memories that I’ll never forget.

After you go through 3 hours of performing (a super emotional experience) you’ll feel so close to your scene partners — that’ll feel like you’ve known them forever.

Weird, huh?

That’s the power of improv!

Annual Festival at the UCB!

***** Disclaimer *****

Just more thing… Improv isn’t magic.

It takes months years of consistent practice to get good.

You’re not gonna get socially confident after one class.

Honestly, it didn’t click for me until my second year of doing this stuff…

I highly recommend it though — especially if your social skills are non existent.

I truly love it.

If I didn’t do four years of improv, I wouldn’t have gotten the job I have now,  obtained a bunch of friends or written 3 feature scripts (more on that later)…

Now, find your local theater, sign up for a class & go make somebody laugh!!

Perform your booty off!

— Jamual